Silent Turmoil
by Adrianna-Rossetti
Summary: A/U. (No curse) After Princess Emma suffers a miscarriage, she has no energy for life anymore. Snow and Charming are desperate to help their daughter find the will to live, but sometimes, help comes in unexpected forms. Wanted the genre to be drama, but alas, not enough choices! Rated 'M' for miscarriage, self-abuse, rape, and attempted suicide. SwanQueen eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz own Once Upon a Time**

**A/N: This story is darker than my previous stories, but hopefully you guys will like it! Very dramatic, and pretty angsty. Warning: Mentions of rape, miscarriage, and attempted suicide.**

It was cold outside, but the blonde couldn't feel it. In fact, she couldn't feel anything. The only thing that kept her grounded was the feel of the smooth wood underneath her hands. Her numb fingers were clenched tightly around the banister-the only barrier between her and her happily ever after. A gust of chilly wind blew long golden locks behind the woman's face, and froze a tear that was trailing down her cheek. Green eyes were raw- they looked haunted and dark shadows resided underneath them- the result of many restless sleepless nights.

Her hands drifted towards her now-flat belly, mourning the loss of life that was once in it just two weeks ago. Long fingers danced up and down the expanse of blue fabric of the magnificent dress she wore, but could care less about. The princess used to love to dress up, but ever since she suffered a miscarriage and lost the most precious thing in her life, she simply did not care anymore. The baby was supposed to bring her happiness. The baby was proof that the result of something so horrendous could turn out to be something so pure.

She swallowed back a cry when she thought of that night, when he had forced himself upon her, taking pleasure in her pain. She had been a virgin, and he stole her innocence, not taking the proper care to show her what it felt like to be loved. When she discovered she was pregnant, it had been her breaking point. She was no more than 18 years old, still a child. But it had forced her to mature quickly and grow up. More tears leaked out, but she hardly felt them. Of course the vile man had been punished-death was the punishment for rape, but instead of making the princess feel sated inside, it left an even deeper void.

Her mother, Snow White, tried to do her very best to comfort her child while her father, James, spent hours yelling himself hoarse at her rapist before finally killing him himself. Snow helped her realize that the baby could bring her happiness, and she had started to rise up out of her depression, finally happy for the first time in months. But then came the miscarriage. There was so much blood, and so much pain, both emotionally and physically. The physical pain she could deal with, but the emotional, she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough.

That led to the cutting-her only escape. She would sneak a kitchen knife up her sleeve after dinner with her parents, fake smiling so she wouldn't worry them, and scurry up to her bedroom. Shutting the door carefully and barring it with her dresser, she would take the sharp utensil and look at her reflection in it, hating what she saw. Then she would roll up her sleeve and dragged the blade carefully across her skin, making the first cut of the night. The pain was delicious. It helped her think clearly, and helped drag her away from the emotional numbness she found herself in.

The blood was beautiful. It trailed down her arms, reaching her fingertips, where it would then drip onto the ground. Of course, the blonde would make sure to clean up any evidence she left. It was crucial that no one found out. She would slip the knife-now free from her blood-back into the kitchen, and slip away back to her bedroom. She could not find the energy to keep moving on, despite her parent's best efforts. She loved them, but she knew that she was too broken to live.

That is where she found herself now-balancing herself on top of the sturdy wood, her dark eyes devouring her kingdom for the last time. She turned around carefully, so she was facing the closed doors to her room. Satisfied that nobody was going to walk in, she took a deep breath and watched as a puff cold air was emitted from her mouth.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But this is my happily ever after."

And then she spread her arms out, closed her eyes, and fell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks everyone for the reads, reviews, and favorite/follows! I really appreciate them. Please review! :)**

"Emma. Emma!"

A voice was calling out to her, but the blonde could barely open her eyes, let alone respond. Her body hurt all over, and she couldn't even wriggle her pinky finger. It confused her. Wasn't she supposed to be dead? Her suffering was supposed to have ended. Emma could feel a weight on her stomach, and hot tears soaked through the flimsy fabric that covered her body.

"Oh god. Please. Please."

Somebody was sobbing.

"Come back to me."

Emma tried, but couldn't. The darkness was pushing down on her, and she struggled to break through it. She wanted to say "_I'm here. I'm alright. I'm sorry." _but found she could not move. In a sense, she was paralyzed. Emma tried to cry out for help, but the blackness enveloped her, and she finally succumbed to it.

* * *

"Why isn't she moving?" Snow cried.

Her white ruffled dress fanned out on the ground around her when she knelt by Emma's side. It was going to have wrinkles in it, but that was the least of her concerns. She lifted her head slightly from her perch on Emma's stomach, and stared at her daughter's face. Even while Emma was sleeping, she looked so sad...so _lost._

"It's my fault," Snow whimpered. "I should've been a better mother. I should've known that she was depressed and was cutting herself. I should've-"

"Honey," James cut in and rested his firm hand on her shoulder. "It most definitely was not your fault. I should've seen the signs too."

His eyes were red, but he was fighting valiantly not to cry in front of his wife. He needed to be strong for the both of them, since she was clearly so distraught. James gently pulled Snow up from her place on the bed, and wrapped his strong arms around her petite figure. Snow allowed herself to be comforted by her husband for a few moments before pulling away from him and wiping her tears.

"Thank you," she turned and whispered to the other person in the room.

James faced the person too. "Yes. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," was the short reply. The person did not move. She simply stood back in the shadows, and watched the scene unfolded in front of her.

"You gave us our daughter back," Snow swallowed. "And for that, I am forever grateful."

"What can we do to repay you Regina?" James asked.

"Let me take care of her," Regina's voice was smooth and controlled, "She will need someone to be there for her-"

"But we can-" Snow started.

"And how did that end up for you dear?" Regina cut her off, eyes flashing. "Look at her." She gestured to the broken form of the princess laying on the bed.

"Wait just a minute," James roared and he started to advance.

"James," Snow whispered, and placed her hand on his arm. "Wait. My stepmother is right. Maybe Emma needs someone...different."

"Snow," James started impatiently. "Can we really trust her?"

"Why on earth wouldn't you dear?" Regina sneered and looked at him unflinching.

"Oh I don't know," James snarled sarcastically, "let's see. The fact that you tried to kill my wife? Or the fact that you poisoned her when that didn't work? Because I will not let that happen to my daughter. She is already fragile enough, and she doesn't need your venomous self around to ruin her anymore."

"Are you quite done with your 'if you hurt her, I will kill you' speech?" Regina rolled her eyes. "Believe me when I say this: I will not harm your daughter. I saved her, didn't I?"

"Yes, but you could have some ulterior motive," James' hands clenched.

"Why would I take the trouble to save her if all I was going to do is kill her?" Regina clucked her tongue. "I have every intention to help her."

"But why?" Snow asked, tightening her hold on James' arm. "I mean, like James said, Emma is part of _my_ family. Why would you want to help her if you knew that you would also be helping me?"

"Regardless of the questioning of my every move, trust me when I say that I am _not_ doing it for you," Regina growled. "Look at me, my dear Snow. See if I'm lying when I tell you that I will not try in any way to sabotage or manipulate your daughter to bring you pain. Although that would give me great pleasure, I will not use her for my selfish desires."

"I trust you as much as a slug jumps," James tensed again.

"And I trust you as far as a shark can walk," Regina raised her voice. "Are we done with the silly idioms?"

"Honey," Snow released her hold on his arm and stepped in front of her husband, forcing him to look at her. "I think maybe we should consider it. I mean, Regina was a good mother to me when I was younger."

"She was acting!" James shook his head. "She pretended to be a loving mother while she was plotting your death!" _Why couldn't his wife understand? The woman was not to be trusted!_

"Even if she was," Snow said calmly, "she was amazing at it. She was caring, and I felt like she truly cared about me. As much as it pains me to say this, maybe Emma needs another mother figure in her life."

Regina smirked behind Snow's back. A mother figure. Right.

"I don't like this Snow," James tried one last time to make Snow see reason. But he knew that he lost the battle once he saw the determined look in her eyes. "Please."

"James," Snow breathed. "I think we can trust her to take care of our daughter. She seems to have good intentions."

"Hello?" Regina interrupted. "I'm right here dears. No need to talk about me in third person."

"You see?" James threw up his hands in frustration. "She's rude, cruel, and doesn't have a nice bone in her body. We can't let Emma be exposed to that."

"On the contrary Prince," Regina smiled slowly. "I'm only rude to you and Snow. You've never seen me with your daughter before."

"That's because you've never even talked to her before! She doesn't even know who you are!" he ran his fingers through his brown hair.

"All the better, right?" Regina smirked.

"You-"

"Enough!" Snow shouted. "You are giving me a headache from your constant arguing. It's settled. Regina will care for Emma, but we have the full right to banish you from this kingdom if you hurt her in anyway, shape or form."

She stalked over to where the brunette was standing and stood up so her mouth was next to an ear. "And you'd better believe that exile is the least of your worries if you hurt one hair on my baby's head. Clear?" Snow pulled back and glared into deep pools of brown.

"Of course darling. But I also have conditions. You, nor James, may not witness me with Emma. Ever. I do not like to be watched, and especially not from you two. I will spend the day with Emma, and every evening, she will be returned to you for dinner. I will then stay the night with her. She will need constant supervision."

Snow held up her hand to silence James' protesting, and looked at the floor for a moment. Decision made, she lifted her head and jutted her chin out to Regina. "Deal."

"Marvelous," Regina sniffed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and heal her."

She attempted to make her way to the bed, but James stepped in front of her and spread his arms out defensively.

"Again?" Regina sighed. "I thought we'd already established everything. This is getting quite dull."

"Why are you doing this?" he crossed his arms.

Regina's gaze faltered before responding evenly, "There is a broken woman laying not 10 feet from us who obviously needs a lot of help, and I'll be damned if she tries to kill herself again."

Seemingly satisfied with her answer, James reluctantly stepped aside. Regina mockingly inclined her head towards him before approaching the fragile princess. Regina allowed her eyes to greedily roam up and down Emma's beautiful form. She tentatively reached out and brushed a golden curl that had fallen over a closed eye. She traced the strand of hair down all the way to Emma's waist, marveling in the softness of it before remembering that Snow and James were watching her every move like a hawk. She hastily retreated her hand, and cleared her throat.

"I do remember that one of my conditions was for you two to leave me in peace while I'm with your daughter," Regina said, not looking away from Emma.

"She's not awake yet," Snow bravely said, "so it doesn't count. And I will be here when Emma awakes. She will need her mother."

Regina didn't respond. Instead, she closed her eyes and rested her hand over Emma's heart. Concentrating, she allowed some of her own energy to flow through her fingertips and into Emma's chest. Ignoring the surprised gasps behind her, she gritted her teeth and let more of her energy out.

Suddenly, Emma inhaled sharply and moaned.

"Emma! Honey! Can you hear me?" Snow cried. She ran over to the other side of the bed and grasped Emma's hand tightly.

Emma tried to open her eyes, but felt like a thousand cobwebs were sewing them shut. She felt a warmth in her heart, and it gave her strength to push through the darkness. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she immediately closed them again from the harsh light.

Regina finished spreading her magic to Emma, and slumped forward, exhausted. She inhaled sharply. It had drained her, since she spent her energy on healing Emma. But she would have done it a thousand more times if it meant seeing green eyes open again.

"James," Regina said weakly before coughing to try and toughen her voice up, "dim the lights. It hurts Emma's eyes."

Baffled by the scene he just witnessed, he nodded silently and rushed to do as he was told.

"I healed her broken arm and leg," Regina said softly. "However, there are still many scratches on her body."

Snow nodded wordlessly, her eyes trained on her daughter's face before whispering, "thank you so much Regina."

"Emma," Snow murmured with fresh tears clinging onto her long lashes, "open your eyes baby. The light is darker."

Emma obeyed, and her eyelids fluttered open again. The first thing she saw was her beautiful mother clinging to her hand with tears streaming down her face._  
_

"Oh thank god," Snow broke down sobbing even harder, using Emma's hand as a cradle for her face. "I thought I had lost you."

Emma felt incredibly guilty when she saw her mother in such a state. _It's all my fault. I'm an awful human being. I should be dead right now. Why am I not?_

Emma gently stroked her fingers through her mother's black waves, and wiped away some of the tears. She broke eye contact, feeling ashamed, and looked past her to find her father, who seemed to be in the same state as her mother. But he was shaking and trying not to let his tears show.

"Oh Emma," was the only thing he could say.

She managed a small smile, and with a few powerful steps, her father was kneeling next to her mother, and they were both clutching her hand. Emma realized with a jolt that a third person was kneeling on her other side. Green eyes met dark brown, and Emma's breath was stolen. The most gorgeous woman she'd ever seen was resting her chin on the bedspread, and she looked exhausted, but gave her a weak smile. The woman's long dark hair was flowing past her shoulders in gentle curls, and she wore a black gown. Emma couldn't wait until she stood up so she could see the brunette's body, which was probably as beautiful as the rest of her. Blushing, Emma averted her gaze, and looked at the bedspread, overwhelmed. She was supposed to be dead. That way, she wouldn't have to cause anybody any suffering.

"W-" Emma started weakly. "What happened?"


	3. Chapter 3

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"My stepmother, Regina," Snow gestured to the alluring brunette, "saved you."

"How?" Emma was suddenly mad. It was all_ her_ fault. She was supposed to be dead-no questions asked. Sure her parents would have grieved, but they wouldn't know that she_ intentionally_ jumped off the balcony.

"I saw you fall off your balcony through my mirror," Regina spoke. "I sent a spell to slow your descent through my mirror, but unfortunately, most of its power was lost when it passed through the medium. That's why you passed out. Your body was in so much pain because you still hit the ground pretty hard. Spells are tricky and extremely difficult to send a long distance. And it's even more difficult to try and cast a spell through something like a mirror or water. It's very complicated to maintain the power it requires to fully work."

So the beautiful woman was named Regina, and she possessed magical powers of some sort. Emma was seething on the inside, but maintained an indifferent façade on the outside. She couldn't believe the woman. That woman-_Regina-_had no right to try and go play a 'hero' and save her.

"Oh," was all Emma could get out. "Uh, then how am I here with no broken bones then if I 'fell' so far?" She knew she was being an ass, but seriously. The woman she was just crushing on had ultimately ruined her life even more-if that was even possible. Her relationships with her parents were probably destroyed, and the whole entire kingdom would gossip about the depressed princess who tried to kill herself.

"I healed you with more magic," Regina gave her another shaky smile. "Drained me, but I would've done it again in a heartbeat."

_"Oh I'm sure,"_ Emma thought sarcastically, _"And why would that be? To get a reward? Bitch."_

"Oh, thank you so much," Emma said out-loud, trying really hard not to strangle the brunette. Yes, she was still weak, but her anger fueled her adrenaline, getting her more worked up by the second.

"You're welcome," Regina's forehead creased in confusion. Emma's words seemed genuine, but her posture and her tone were tense. Regina's magic was slowly returning, and she lifted her head. "Do you feel alright?"

"I'm fine," Emma replied. "Actually, I'm just peachy. Thanks to your wonderful healing magic. I really appreciate it."

"Of course," Regina said hesitantly.

"Honey, we need to talk," Snow's forehead crinkled in worry, and she gripped the blonde's hand tighter.

Emma snapped her eyes shut. This was the part she had been dreading the most. "About what?" she tried to evade the subject.

"About this," Snow gently traced the scratch marks on Emma's pale flesh. "About tonight's...events."

"I'm sorry," Emma said quickly. It was a lie. She wasn't sorry that she tried to commit suicide; she was sick of the world. She _wanted_ to die. She had nothing to live for. Emma desperately scrambled for the words that would explain, but found she couldn't think of anything that would be the truth. "Can we please just call it a momentary lapse in judgement? I don't know why I even tried to...uh, kill myself." She swallowed hard when she saw Snow flinch and felt James' grip on her hand tighten. She hastened to form her next words. "I'm so sorry guys. I love you both."

Snow wiped away her tears, and James' rubbed his red-rimmed eyes.

"Honey, we love you too," James said and kissed her forehead. "So very much. Please don't ever scare us again like that. We want to help you."

"Thanks, but I'm fine. I won't ever do that again," Emma sent an overly-cheerful smile their way and felt incredibly guilty when she saw that Snow's face had morphed into a happy smile back. Her sweet mother was too trusting.

"Well just to be on the safe side," Snow said cautiously, "Regina will be your..." she paused to find the right word, "guide. Friend. Confidant. She wants to help you, and your father and I think that's a good idea."

"What?" Emma's heart dropped. "Wait. I can take care of myself. I told you guys, the cutting and the attempted suicide was a huge mistake. It won't happen again."

"Sweetie, it's for the best. I really think it'll be good for you. You've been through so much, and maybe Regina is the person who can help you."

"What? I'm not depressed!" Emma cried. "I don't need a babysitter to watch me. Please guys, don't do this to me. I'm fine."

"Emma, the decision's already been made. We need you to heal," James said firmly.

Emma started to panic-a lot. "But...but..but...Just trust me. I don't need her."

"We trusted you before, and you broke that trust," Snow sighed. "I'm sorry sweetie, but I can't see you hurt yourself anymore. I love you too much."

Emma sat in stony silence. "How long is she going to be staying with me?"

"It depends on your progress," Regina piped up.

"What does that mean?" Emma asked her, staring into deep pools of brown. Regina still held a reasonable amount of attraction for her, but now her anger clouded any affection she might have felt.

"It means that you will finally be happy again," Regina said softly.

_"Bullshit. I'll never be happy again,"_ Emma thought bitterly. _"So don't even waste your time."_

"You aren't going to be with me all the time, right?" Emma's heart sunk when she saw the brunette shake her head.

"I will be there for you whenever you need me," Regina said. "You need to talk to someone-I know you do. I can help you."

"I don't need help!" Emma's voice rose an octave higher due her panic. She calmed herself before continuing in a more reasonable fashion. "I'm _fine."  
_

_"_Emma," James threw his arms in the air, "obviously you aren't 'fine'. You tried to kill yourself for God's sake."

Emma flinched at his tone, and she felt her eyes water at his harsh words.

"Oh baby," James covered his face in his hands, "I'm so sorry. I overreacted because I was angry. It was harsh on my part, and I apologize."

"It's fine," Emma said, even though it wasn't. _Man. I need to stop saying that._ "Can I please go to bed? In my own room?"

"Yes of course," Snow replied quickly. "We can talk more in the morning. But for now, Regina will accompany you to your room."

Emma mentally rolled her eyes. _Of course. Hell starts now._ "How lovely," Emma smiled a smile that didn't reach her eyes, "but I don't need her help."

Emma gingerly swung her legs over the bed, and shakily stood up. The room spun, and James caught her before she fell backwards.

"I'm alright. Thanks."

Emma walked unsteadily to the doorway and paused before she looked back. "I'm sorry. I love you both."

"We love you too Emma," Snow and James said in unison.

Emma turned, and almost had a heart attack when she saw Regina standing in front of her.

"What the hell?"

"I thought I made it clear," Regina said smoothly. "I will be with you every day and every night."

"Spending the night with me might have slipped your explanation," Emma muttered.

She made her way slowly down the corridor and ignored Regina completely.

"Are you angry?" Regina asked when they were a distance away from the Main Hall.

"No," Emma said shortly.

"Please talk to me," Regina pleaded.

"Fine. You want to talk?" Emma spun around and faced the woman she now hated, ignoring the dizziness that overtook her. "You completely ruined my life-not that I had much to begin with-but now it's going to be hell, or whatever's worse than hell because it was already hell to begin with!"

"You're a good liar," Regina responded. "Stop kidding yourself Emma. You are not 'fine' as you put it multiple times to your father and mother. I saw you perched on the balcony, preparing yourself for your inevitable death."

She shuddered at the memory. Absolute terror had seized Regina when she saw the beautiful blonde fall, her hair cascading like a waterfall underneath her as she descended quickly. She acted on impulse, sending out a spell as quick as she could before teleporting to her step-daughter's castle. It was a miracle that she had enough magic to keep going, but her recovery time was amazingly quick, and her energy revived itself fast.

"Listen lady," Emma huffed. "I don't know why you care so much, but leave me alone. I don't need yours-or anyone else's- help."

And with that closing statement, Emma hobbled down the rest of the hallway and shut the door to her bedroom behind her. Regina shook her head and followed Emma's path to her room. After trying to open the door, she found it locked. Predicable. Like that would stop her. She sighed and walked through the door effortlessly. Scanning the room frantically when there was no trace of the blonde, Regina finally spotted her standing on the balcony, staring up to the sky. Long blonde hair fell down in gentle curls, and her heart broke when she heard the sobs and whimpers coming from the lone figure. Regina cautiously approached the blonde, and placed her hand gently on a heaving back. Emma startled and turned to face Regina.

"Y-you scared me," Emma sniffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and looking back up at the sky.

"I'm sorry, it was not my intent," Regina left her hand on the blonde's back, pleased that she hadn't pulled away. "Come inside. It's freezing out here."

"Is it?" Emma spoke facing away from Regina. "I can't feel it. Besides, it's so beautiful out here. The stars are so pretty-they make me forget my own pain."

Regina's heart clenched at her words. "Please Emma, come inside."

Emma reluctantly turned away from the endless expanse of twinkling stars, and allowed Regina to guide her back into the warmth. She sat on her bed, and Regina fetched a blanket to wrap around shivering shoulders.

"You have made me the laughingstock of the whole entire kingdom, and my parents probably hate me now," Emma murmured quietly.

Regina situated the blanket so it was covering Emma's whole body, and then sat next to her.

"The kingdom won't even know," Regina replied just as quietly, "and your parents love you, Emma. That's why they asked me to look after you. They care about you so much."

"The kingdom will know through gossip," Emma sighed and let the blanket fall away from her body. "It happened once before, when I was raped. Then it happened again when I was pregnant. And it happened a third time when I lost the baby. Trust me. The kingdom knows everything about me. Servants, guards, maids, etc. will find a way to inform the public about my damaged state. They're going to think I'm emotionally unstable-which I am. And I've put my parents through so much. I don't even deserve them. They're too good for me."

"The kingdom is full of assholes then," Regina said seriously and Emma cracked a genuine smile, making Regina pleased when her comment had its desired effect. "But seriously. Who cares what they think? And just be grateful that you have a family that cares enough about you to keep fighting. You deserve happiness, Emma. Everybody deserves happiness."

"My happiness was supposed to be when I was dead, because I would be at peace," Emma frowned. "But you took that away from me."

"I was trying to help you Emma."

"Maybe I don't need to be helped!"

"But you do need peace," Regina breathed. "Please, let me help you. Please let me in."

"I can't," Emma started crying again. "I can't let anybody into my mind. It scares me, some of the thoughts I've had. I need to deal it with myself. I just want to die. It will end my suffering."

"I want to help you. You've lost your will to live."

Regina wrapped her right arm around Emma's slim back and she placed her left hand on a smooth cheek. "We need to find something worth living for."

Emma started crying again and laid her head on Regina's shoulder.

"T-there is nothing," Emma shuddered. "I'm in turmoil."

"Shh," Regina rested her head on top of Emma's. "We can talk in the morning. You've had such a long and taxing day. Relax and sleep now."

Emma cried on Regina's shoulder for a while, her tears running down Regina's low-cut front of her dress. Regina pulled Emma back gently with her to lay down on the bed, and Emma settled with her head on Regina's chest. Her arm was wrapped around the brunette's slim stomach, her hand resting on the woman's hip, and soon her breathing evened out. Regina could still feel the wetness from the blonde's tears on her skin, and it broke her heart.

"I promise Emma," Regina murmured, stroking her hand through golden locks, "that I will do whatever it takes to heal you."

And with those words, Regina flicked her wrist, and the blanket floated up before landing softly on the two women's bodies, enveloping them in a warm cocoon. Regina wrapped her arms around her princess, and allowed herself to be lulled to sleep by the sweet breath that blew rhythmically on her neck.


	4. Chapter 4

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The sunlight streamed in from the window and shone on the peaceful forms of the two sleeping women. The blonde was draped over the brunette in the same position she fell asleep in, her head on Regina's shoulder and her arm across her belly. Their stomachs rose and fell at the same time, and one of them was snoring softly. It was Emma who woke up first, blearily cracking her eyes open.

"Damn it," Emma grumbled when she saw Regina's serene face just inches away from her own.

She jerked her hand away from Regina's hip and sat up, ignoring the sudden dizziness that threatened to overtake her. She couldn't believe that she'd literally fallen apart at the seams last night. Emma was pissed. She wasn't supposed to break so easily-and in front of Regina of all people! The very woman she hated. Emma threw the blanket off of her body and swung her legs off the side of the bed.

She padded her way to her bathroom and firmly shut the door before locking it. _Like that will do any good._ After doing her morning routine, Emma leaned over the sink and looked at her reflection. The circles were gone under her eyes, and her body didn't feel as achy as it did yesterday. She had gotten the best night's sleep of her life last night, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Emma ground her teeth in frustration. She hated to be so needy, and she couldn't even stomach the thought that Regina was the source of her restful slumber.

Emma rolled her eyes at her own actions. She reached into the bathtub and pulled out her straight blade razor, the tool she usually shaved with, and lifted her white nightgown. Emma placed the sharp edge under her right breast on her rib, and made a quick incision, sighing when the pain fled through her body. It was addicting, and it made her feel alive. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, savoring the high it gave her. A knock on the door startled her musings, and she dropped the razor on the floor.

"Shit!" Emma hissed as she scrambled to pick it up.

"Emma?" Regina's voice sounded worried.

"Uh, don't come in!" Emma cried out in panic. "I'm still…uh, doing something."

She ran the water and washed the red off the sharp edge, watching as it swirled down the sink. Emma placed the blade back in her bathtub and looked in the mirror to adjust herself. Crap. The blood was seeping through her nightgown, and it was staining the front of her dress.

"Emma?" Regina called again, resting her head against the door.

"Just a second!" Emma snapped, frantically looking for something to save her.

She spotted a dark towel hanging on the back of the bathroom door, and quickly shucked her dress, wadding it up and tossing it in a corner. After wrapping the towel around herself, she gathered her long golden locks on the top of her head and lowered her head under the faucet. Letting the water cascade through her long locks, she thought about her plan of attack. Obviously the woman had to go. Emma shut the water off, inhaled deeply, and strode over to the door before yanking it open. "_Operation Get Rid of Regina is A-Go,"_ she thought when she saw Regina. Emma plastered a huge grin on her face.

"Done!" Emma cheerfully announced as she brushed past Regina. "Just wanted to have a quick bath before I faced the day!"

Regina narrowed her eyes, and Emma subtly clutched the towel tighter to her body.

"Why don't you smell like soap then?" Regina asked suspiciously.

Emma didn't answer, and pushed past her. "Can I please have some privacy to dress myself?"

"Wait," Regina gently grabbed her arm.

"Yes?" Emma said impatiently.

"Do you want to talk?" her dark eyes bore into Emma's.

"No thanks," Emma smiled. "Last night was very helpful. I really appreciate your concern and everything, but I actually feel a lot better today."

"Emma, I want to help you," Regina sighed. "I can't do it if you don't open up and let me in. Please. Just trust me."

It took every last string of patience for Emma not to throttle the older woman. She stepped back, letting the restricting arm that held her captive drop from her body.

"Well I've already told you everything. Now can I please get dressed?"

Regina looked at her before nodding wordlessly and reluctantly walking out of Emma's bedroom, shutting the door softly behind her. Emma stood tense for a few minutes before allowing her legs to carry her back into her bathroom. She ran a bath and added soap before she picked up the discarded nightgown from the floor and tossed it in the soapy suds. Warm liquid on her stomach made her realize with a jolt that she still had a major problem. Blood was seeping quickly out of the cut she had made earlier, and was running down her body in a bloody mess.

"Shit," Emma growled, immediately dropping the towel and cupping her left hand under her right breast.

She winced as she applied pressure, but knew it was the only way to get it to stop. Breathing deeply through her nose, she reached down and picked up the towel she had discarded earlier. Emma stumbled towards her sink and wetted it before pressing it to the wound she had inflicted on herself. Gently dabbing it on the injury, she soaked up a lot of the blood before thrusting the towel under the running water and cleansing it again. She blotted and wiped multiple times, but the incision was deep, and the flow of blood wouldn't cease.

"Stupid stupid stupid," she grumbled under her breath as she went through the repetitious process of wetting, pressing, rinsing, and repeating.

After a while, another knock resonated through the open bathroom door.

"Emma, do you need help?"

Emma wanted to scream. Instead, she calmly called out, "No Regina, I'm perfectly fine. Sorry I'm just so indecisive on what I want to wear!"

There was a pause. "Okay Emma. I'll get some breakfast for us."

"Right."

That bought her some more time, which Emma took full advantage of. After a few more curses and grimaces, she managed to quench the blood flow. She grabbed a different clean towel, and folded it in half multiple times so she had a thin strip of fabric. Emma wrapped it around her ribs just under her breastbone, and dropped the old towel into the tub to join the nightgown. The water soon stained a deep murky red. Emma looked at the sea of scarlet for a moment before turning away with tears in her eyes.

She took a deep breath and wiped away the wetness that had gathered on her cheekbones. She had precious time left. Slamming the bathroom door after she exited, Emma frantically ran to the closet and sifted through her clothing items, taking extra care to choose a dress that would cover the scratches on her arms. She didn't even bother with undergarments as she chose a brown dress and threw it on. Just in time.

"Emma? I have breakfast," Regina called.

Emma hastened to open the door for Regina, and the Queen swept in, holding a heavy platter in her arms. She set the tray down on the table next to Emma's bed and smiled triumphantly. Bacon, quail eggs, fruit, toast, and other delicacies were present on the plates.

"Er, thanks," Emma eyed the food with fear in her eyes. If Regina made her eat _any_ of that…

"Healthy start for a big day!" Regina grinned. Her black dress was low-cut, revealing smooth white skin, and her hair was swept up into a coiffed bun on the top of her head. Emma damned whatever force made Regina so appealing. It would be so much easier to hate her if she weren't.

"Yum," Emma said weakly. Just smelling the food made her feel faint.

"Shall we?" Regina gestured to the table.

"Right."

Emma reluctantly made her way over to a chair and sat down, Regina copying her actions. She looked lost as she glanced at all of the magnificent food that was laid in front of her. Regina noticed Emma's expression and felt a pang in her heart.

"Here," she said softly, "let's start with toast. Would you like butter on it?"

"No thank you," Emma mumbled. "Plain is fine."

Regina coated the yellow spread thinly on the brown piece of toast, and held it out for Emma to take. Emma gingerly grasped the food, and slowly brought it up to her mouth. She took a small bite and chewed carefully and slowly. It had been a long time since she had actually eaten a solid piece of food, and she choked it down as she grimaced.

"Thank you," Emma said. She felt guilty. Regina was trying to be helpful and supportive, and all Emma had done was lie and act coldly towards the brunette.

"You're welcome. Would you like to try some eggs next?" Regina swallowed a bite of her own toast that she'd buttered.

The guilty feelings evaporated.

"I suppose," Emma groused.

She helped herself to a small portion of eggs, and stared at her plate.

"I-I can't eat this," she stammered. "Can I please be done?"

"Just try a bite?"

"I can't. Please don't make me."

"Alright. I'm proud of you though. You've made some progress."

"Yay."

Regina ignored the last comment Emma made, and started eating an apple.

"Can I be excused?" Emma asked, hating that she felt like she had to ask permission.

"Alright, but once I've finished, we should do something to get you out of this castle," Regina bit into her apple and licked her lips.

"It's winter out, and it's cold and snowy," Emma weakly protested.

"Wear a coat," Regina said. "Besides, I'm magic. I have the power to give you warmth."

"Ah," Emma raised her chin. "Wonderful."

She scooted her chair back and stood up. She made her way into the bathroom again, leaving Regina to stare after her. Emma had to clean up the mess she made earlier before Regina noticed. She drained the bloody water from the bathtub before taking out her nightgown and towel and dropping them into the sink. Emma ran soap in the tub, effectively cleaning it, and then added soap in the sink to wash her soiled items. Wringing out the cleaned items, she hung them on the back of the bathroom door and washed her hands, cleansing them of her blood. Emma sighed once the job was complete.

"That should do it," Emma smiled.

She opened the bathroom door and entered her bedroom again where she found Regina standing outside on the balcony. She walked outside and stood next to the other woman.

"What are you doing out here?" her breath created puffs in the air.

"Casting a minor spell," Regina answered simply.

"What was it?"

Regina turned to face Emma fully. "I protected you. I erased any memories anyone had of you falling off the balcony. That way, the people of the kingdom don't know about it. The only people who do are you, your parents, and me."

Emma was speechless. She mentally gaped at the older woman while keeping her face stoic. "Uh, thank you so much." She was confused. On one hand, she hated Regina since the woman had taken away her freedom in a sense, but on the other hand, Regina was incredibly caring and sweet.

"You're welcome. It was the least I could do," Regina smiled.

"Well I really appreciate it," Emma said gruffly.

"No problem at all Emma," Regina turned back to looking over the kingdom. "What would you like to do today?"

"I don't know," Emma tried to make an effort, since the unexpected action Regina took was the nicest thing anyone had done for her. "Uh, I used to ride my horse and sometimes, I guess I took walks. But it's too cold for that."

"Oh good lord!" Regina gasped. "Get inside!"

She ushered Emma back into the warmth, and closed the doors firmly behind her. Regina guided Emma to sit down on the bed, and she found the blanket they used the prior night. Regina drew it around Emma's thin frame, and the blonde blushed, despite of herself. "_Regina would make a wonderful wife,"_ Emma mused. Then she gasped softly and mentally berated herself. _Idiot. Do __not_ _fall for her. Stick to your plan to get rid of her. _It was hard for Emma to follow her own advice though when Regina sat in such close proximity to her.

"In response to your last answer, I don't think you're strong enough yet to ride a horse," Regina squeezed Emma's arm gently to show she didn't mean anything harsh by her comment. "And it's out of the question to walk. We could go for a carriage ride. It would be warmer, and we could enjoy the fresh air without having to lift a finger."

"That would be wonderful," Emma shocked both herself and Regina with her honest answer.

"Perfect," Regina flashed her white teeth, "I'll go and prepare the sleigh. You can get dressed in something warmer while I do that. There will be blankets in the carriage, so don't worry about grabbing anything like that. Meet me out front in about ten minutes. I should have everything ready by then."

Regina stood and touched Emma's hand once before she exited the room quietly. Emma missed her presence immediately. She wondered if she was developing some kind of Stockholm's Syndrome, but instead of a captor, it was her rescuer. Shaking her head, she stood up and let the blanket fall back onto the bed behind her. Emma walked over to her closet again, and put on a coat stitched by the Three Blind Mice. It was the softest item of clothing she owned, and one of her favorites.

A foreign felling bubbled up inside of Emma, and it took her a moment to realize it was excitement. She felt lighter than air. Emma tried not to run down the hallways for fear she would seem too eager, so she did an awkward sort of jog /stumble. Reaching the main doors, she took a deep breath and pulled them open.

**Please review! Thank you! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry that I've left this story for a year! I just haven't been feeling very inspired lately to write any Swan Queen :( But now I'm back, and I've planned the story out so hopefully I'll have it done by the end of the summer! Thank you to everybody who has stuck with me! It's so awesome to be back in the Swan Queen community :)**

Emma's green eyes immediately found Regina's deep brown ones, and she felt an immense surge of comfort when she looked at the older woman. The beautiful woman was standing by the carriages, petting two black horses and talking quietly to them. Somehow, she had changed too, since now she was wearing a dark indigo gown that plunged down in the front to reveal perfect, creamy pale skin, and her long hair was swept up in a perfect coif. Emma felt the air get sucked out of her lungs when she looked at Regina and she quickly averted her eyes when she saw Regina raise an eyebrow.

"Are you ready?" Regina said softly, heart fluttering her chest when she saw Emma's appraisal at her attire.

Emma nodded, not trusting her voice, and stumbled down the road and climbed in the carriage with a flush in her cheeks. Regina finished patting the creatures and then climbed up in the carriage and grasped the reins firmly in her hands. With a small smile to Emma, she flicked her wrists and the horses started walking, pulling the weight of the coach behind them. Emma sighed and settled back in her seat, taking in her surroundings. It was cold, but the coat protected the frail body from the harsh winds. White snow covered trees, and the sky was a beautiful blue.

"Are you warm?" Regina's voice cut into Emma's observations.

"Yes, thank you," Emma said and watched her breath puff out in clouds.

"I love the winter," Regina mused, turning to look at the blonde.

"Me too," Emma said stiffly. She really was bad at her social skills, having not communicated with anybody for quite some time.

"There's just something about it," Regina continued, not bothered by Emma's lack of participation in the conversation, "I suppose it had something to do with my childhood. When I was young, I always went horseback riding, and the first time I went in the snow, I knew it was magical. The snow somehow makes everything seem beautiful."

"It really does," Emma winced at herself. Trying to scrape together some kind of sentence that wasn't three words or less, she forced herself to say, "I think it's because everything seems so peaceful and quiet in the winter. Snow is a great cover to make ordinary things look extraordinary." _Like you, except you're already extraordinary,_ she wanted to tack on the end, but pursed her lips before the words could get out.

"Yes," Regina smiled and turned her attention back on the path.

They rode in silence for a while, neither minding the lack of conversation. The beautiful nature of their surroundings kept both of their attention, and just the fact that the other was sitting by them was enough to make them feel like they could relax and not have to chatter the whole time. Regina had succeeded in making Emma get out of the castle for the first time in what seemed like years, and Emma succeeded in taking her first step to recovery. It felt good to get out, and Emma greedily inhaled the fresh, crisp air.

Suddenly, the horses whinnied and reared up. Regina immediately stood up and hurried to the front of the carriage, calling back to Emma, "Just a second. Something must have spooked the horses." Emma nodded and then shivered. It was getting colder the longer they were out, and Emma desperately wished she had a blanket. She turned to look for one, and when she turned back in defeat, a reptilian man was sitting cross-legged next to her. Emma screamed.

"Shh dearie," the scary man put a finger on his mouth. "You're safe with me."

Something told Emma that she was about as unsafe as she could get in this...man's presence. She opened her mouth to yell for Regina, when the creepy person shook his head and clicked his tongue.

"That won't work Princess," he smiled, showing rows of unkept teeth. "I've enchanted this, you see? We're in our own personal bubble!" he giggled madly, and Emma scooted away on the seat, her heart pounding in her chest. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," he cautioned when he saw Emma try and step out of the carriage. She ignored him, and a sharp pain stinging her in the back flung her right onto the man's lap. She gasped and scrambled to get off of him.

"Now dearie, I am a gentleman. I will require to get to know you first before we reach that stage," his dark orbs twinkled, and Emma had to suppress a retch.

"Who are you?" she asked confidently, her angry eyes burning into his glittery black ones.

"Why allow me to introduce myself," he twirled his hand in the air and bowed. "I'm Rumplestiltskin."

Emma gasped and tried to distance herself even further to put space between them. "What do you want?" she asked.

"Oh dearie," he smirked, "I know all about your..._condition._"

Emma's eyes flashed and she opened her mouth in an angry retort before Rumple raised his hand and spoked calmly, "I am here to offer you a way out."

"What do you mean?" Emma's curiosity was piqued.

He reached into his black jacket and pulled out a small vial that held a purple liquid. He shook it and grinned. "This potion will erase your sad memories, as well as Regina's."

"What does Regina have to do with any of this?" Emma's eyes didn't leave the potion.

"Well Princess, I know you hate having her around all the time," Rumple handed her the vial. "This will ensure that she forgets you, and you forget her. You can have your life back again."

Emma sat in stunned silence. It was so tempting to chug the drink at that very second, since it would take away all of her problems. _But would you really give up Regina?_ a little voice in the back of her head whispered. She told it to shut up. She hated the older woman with all of her guts. _No you don't. You're just mad that she's trying to save you._ 'But maybe I want to be saved,' Emma mentally argued back. _Then why go through with this? You can't trust him. He's an evil_ _sorcerer_. _Give it back._

Mind made up, Emma thrust the bottle back to him and said firmly, "I don't want this."

Rumplestiltskin raised a leathery, long finger and Emma flinched, suppressing another scream. He snapped his fingers, and her coat flew off, exposing her dress underneath. Yelping, Emma tried to cover herself up, but Rumplestiltskin pushed her hands away and delicately traced the heavy wrapping under her breasts. Emma struggled not to clock the man in the face, since that would surely result in much more than him lightly tracing her ribcage.

"Such a shame," he shook his head. "To be plagued with such pain at such a young age. At this rate, you're going to be dead before you hit your next birthday."

"Shut the hell up," she growled. "Regina is helping me."

"And what a mighty fine job she's doing," he scoffed. He drew his finger away, and Emma let out a breath of relief. He snapped his fingers again and the coat flew back on Emma's body. "Just think about it."

Emma frowned. "Isn't there a price? My mother told me about you. You always have a price when it comes to deals."

"Oh no, this is special," a slow smile crept on Rumplestiltskin's face. "Just a gift from your old Uncle Rumple."

"Swear that there isn't a hidden twist or a snag," Emma stared at him.

"Nope," he squealed. "Just you use it in the best way possible!"

"Fine," Emma looked down at the bottle she clutched in her hand. "What the heck does the 'best way possible' mean?" She looked up and rolled her eyes when she saw that Rumplestiltskin was gone.

"That should do it. We should be good now," Regina's voice floated up beside the carriage and Emma frantically jammed the glass concoction in her pocket.

"Perfect," she smiled, trying to look nonchalant.

Regina seemed momentarily thrown before returning the smile and settling into her seat. Emma shivered, and Regina glanced over at her.

"Here," she waved her arm and a large, fluffy blanket fell over Emma's body.

"Thank you," Emma whispered, peering up at Regina under her lashes. "Are you cold?"

"Not too bad," Regina lied and shifted in her seat.

"Here," Emma repeated Regina's word and raised the side of the blanket, letting a relieved Regina gratefully slip under the warm cover.

Emma tentatively rested her golden curls on Regina's shoulder and curled her body against Regina's side. The brunette gasped, but loved the feeling of the blonde cuddled up next to her. She let go of the reins and whispered a spell to make the sled drive on its own. Regina wrapped her arms around Emma's body and rested her cheek on the younger woman's soft hair. Emma sighed contentedly and shut her eyes to think about Rumplestiltskin's words. _This will ensure that she forgets you, and you forget her. You can have your life back again. _Emma breathed in Regina's sweet scent and vowed to herself that she would never use it. It wasn't worth losing Regina over. Burrowing her head deeper in Regina's throat, she wrapped an arm around the slender woman's waist and held her closer. Hearing Regina's sweet sigh, Emma knew that she was falling hard for the older woman, and somehow, it didn't frighten her like it would have a day ago.

* * *

They got back to the castle after a wonderful morning wrapped in each other's embrace, and walked together to eat lunch with the Queen and King. Emma sat down across from her mother and father and next to Regina.

"How was your morning sweetie?" Snow asked her daughter, noticing the brightness in Emma's eyes.

"Oh, wonderful," she smiled at Regina.

"What did you do?" James asked.

"Regina took me on a carriage ride," Emma said, her cheeks rosy from the cold. "It was lovely."

"Well, that's good," James looked at his wife and squeezed her hand under the table. They shared a look full of relief and love. Their baby was saved.

* * *

"What would you like to do now?" Regina asked Emma.

"Hmm," Emma thought. "Maybe play chess?"

"Of course, but be prepared to have your butt kicked," Regina said with a twinkle in her eye.

"I'm a champ," Emma said proudly. "So if anybody's butt is going to get kicked, it's yours."

"We'll see about that," Regina's eyes narrowed.

Emma smiled and then yawned and stretched her arms above her head. Big mistake. A stabbing pain ripped through her chest and she let out a cry.

"Emma!" Regina shrieked and pointed at Emma's shirt where a red stain started blooming from the middle of it.

Emma gasped and lowered her arms immediately, covering the blood. Regina strode over to her and moved Emma's arms out of the way. Her large brown eyes filled with sadness, and Emma's stomach clenched at the sight.

"I'm so sorry Regina," she whispered, feeling tears start to prick at her eyes when she felt disappointment radiating off the brunette in waves.

Regina didn't say anything and led her to the bathroom silently. She raised Emma's dress over her head without a peep of complaint from the later, and her eyes inspected the poorly made bandage. Snapping her fingers, the bandage fell off, revealing Emma's breasts. The blonde was too ashamed to even try and cover her modesty. She sniffed and moved her eyes to the ceiling, praying for death. A sudden warmth spread through her, and she looked down to see a golden light surrounding Regina's hand resting on her cut. When Regina moved her hand, the cut was healed and the blood was gone.

"I'm sorry," tears streamed down Emma's face and she sunk down to the ground.

Regina enveloped her in a hug and gently rocked her back and forth. "Emma, don't be sorry to me. Be sorry to your poor body."

"I know, it was stupid and I just..." Emma blubbered.

Regina placed her finger under Emma's chin and raised it. "Emma, I understand that we've just started this healing process. I had just hoped-" she paused and sighed. "I had just hoped that maybe you didn't feel the need to cut anymore. Maybe I could have prevented it better."

"Regina," Emma breathed, losing herself in the swirling brown pools of chocolate, "I was just so sad this morning, but after the carriage ride with you, I have been happier than I have ever been in a long time. I swear that I won't cut myself again."

Regina nodded and rested her forehead against the blonde's. "I know," she whispered, closing her eyes. "I know Emma."

They sat on the bathroom floor for a while, comforting each other before Regina pulled away and smiled. "I think that we need to get you re-dressed again."

Emma blushed, her modesty coming back to her and she crossed her arms over her chest. Regina waved her hand and Emma's dress came over to them, newly cleansed and free of blood. Regina held out her hands and pulled the thin blonde up. She helped Emma slip into the garment and then stepped back, but reached out a hand.

"Ready to play some chess now?"

"You bet," Emma smiled at her, slipping her own hand in Regina's soft ones.

They exited Emma's bedroom and walked down the long and twisted corridors to the library. Once they were there, Emma sat on the couch and Regina in the chair across from her. A beautiful marble chess set with glass players were laid out in front of them, and Regina took a moment to appreciate the sophistication and beauty of the board. A servant came in, bowed to the two women, and then lit the large fireplace. Warm air flowed around the room, creating a cozy ambiance. Emma snuggled into the soft couch, and then bit her lip when she started the intricate and complicated game.

An hour and a half later, and both women's brows were furrowed when they studied the chess board. Emma had her white knight, her queen, her king, and her bishop, while Regina had her king, both of her rooks, and a couple of pawns. It was Emma's turn, and she considered her options. Then, a slight smirk graced her face when she realized she won, and she moved her white knight.

"Checkmate," she said triumphantly.

Regina's mouth dropped slightly open and she shifted her gaze from a smug-looking Emma to the pieces in front of her. Nobody had ever beat her before. Shaking her head in defeat, she looked up at Emma and stuck out her hand. "Good game Emma. And with your knight too!"

"What can I say?" Emma said jokingly. "I'm a genius at chess."

Regina smiled and then stood up and stretched, making Emma's eyes zoom straight to the queen's cleavage that was straining against the fabric they were encased in. Clearing her throat, Emma felt that the room just got 100x hotter.

"Are you alright?" Regina asked her, worry filling her voice.

"I'm fine," Emma said hoarsely. "Um...would you like to read?"

Regina looked at her with a look of concern, but allowed the change of topic. "Sounds lovely." She looked around at the big library. "You have an extensive collection."

"They're my parents'. I don't really like to read, but there are a few books that spark my interest," Emma shrugged.

"What do you like?" Regina's warm eyes settled on Emma's green ones.

"Um," Emma flushed. "I like Sebastian Mortimester. He always has beautiful works that make me laugh."

"Wonderful," Regina said and walked over to the couch. She sat herself down and looked at Emma. "Would you mind reading it together?"

"Of course not!" Emma squeaked before mentally scolding herself. She was acting ridiculous. Why, just this morning she hated the woman! She steeled herself and then crept over to where Regina was sitting. The magical woman crooked her finger, and the _Best Works of Seb Mortimester _came floating towards them. Regina opened the thick book and began to read in her smooth voice. Emma rested her head in Regina's lap and was thrilled when she felt nimble fingers weave themselves through her silky hair. She smiled and allowed Regina's sweet voice wash over her. They laughed at the appropriate times, and then, with two chapters to go, Emma reached up to tangle their fingers together. Regina stopped reading and looked down at Emma. They held each others gaze and Emma's lips parted unconsciously. Her face was illuminated by the light from the fire and the faint coloring from laughing earlier. Regina felt her heart swell and she dropped the book before she leaned down slowly. Emma's breath hitched, and Regina smiled at her. _So close..._ Emma thought. _Just a little more._

"Princess!" a voice interrupted them, and both Regina and Emma shot up guiltily. The servant faltered when he saw them together.

"What is it?" Emma asked, wanting to strangle him.

"Um, I was sent by the queen to tell you that dinner is served, and she's worried that about your whereabouts," the man said, still looking from Regina to Emma in confusion.

"Well as you can see," Emma gritted her teeth, "I am fine. So please go tell my mother that I am perfectly safe and that Regina and I will be there soon."

"Yes Miss!" he squeaked and left.

An awkward silence followed, and Emma looked at Regina. "Regina..."

"We should get to dinner," Regina said softly and waved her hand to put the book back.

"Right," Emma bit her lip and then started to walk to the Great Hall. Regina stopped her and brushed a wavy lock out of Emma's face. They stared in each other's eyes before Regina nodded for some unknown reason and reached down to hold Emma's hand before turning and leaving the library.

* * *

Emma tried to be quiet, but it was difficult. She rolled over for the millionth time and sighed. With Regina breathing so pleasantly in her ear, it was hard to fall asleep. Plus, Rumplestiltskin's words and proposition with the potion whirled around in her head, it was tough to ignore them. Emma turned on her stomach and then buried her face in her pillow. Then, mind made up, she flung her long legs over the edge of the bed and padded barefoot to her window. Regina cracked open her eyes and watched the blonde silently. Emma exhaled softly and glanced out of the glass, the moon's rays illuminating her face and casting beautiful shadows. Regina's heart ached, watching the conflicted woman. Emma turned around, and Regina snapped her eyes shut, praying that the younger woman didn't see her. Apparently she didn't, since she heard the door creak open and then shut with the utmost care not to disturb her. After she was sure Emma had left, Regina climbed out of bed and followed the blonde.

Emma wrapped her bare arms around herself as she walked slowly across the grounds. By some miracle, she had avoided the guards, and snuck out the back way. Her breaths came in clouds as she stopped by an old tree and looked up at the full, round moon. Her hair tumbled down her back, stopping at her waist and she sighed, brushing off some snow before pressing her cheek to the tree's trunk. Snow started falling gently and Emma closed her eyes, enjoying the peace of the moment.

"What are you doing up?" a soft voice came from behind her and she gasped and whirled around.

Regina was in a black nightgown that fell to her knees. Emma's mouth went dry.

"I-I went for a walk," she stuttered.

"It's cold," Regina stepped forward and wrapped a warm coat around Emma's shoulders.

"Thank you," Emma smiled shyly at her and held the coat up with her hand. "Aren't you cold?"

"No, I already told you, I don't get cold easily," Regina rested her hand on Emma's forearm, making the blonde desperately wish that the intruding fabric was gone so she could feel the heat from the brunette's soft hand.

"Ah," Emma said and looked up at Regina.

Snow was falling down around them, and some flakes got stuck on Regina's long lashes and clung to them. Regina never looked more gorgeous than she did that moment with the white crystals falling around her.

"You're beautiful," Emma breathed, not really thinking. As soon as the words were out, she gasped and blushed a deep red. She tried to step away, but Regina's soft grip stopped her.

"Thank you," she said hoarsely. "You are beautiful too."

"Regina?" Emma had to get this out.

"Yes Emma?"

"I wanted to thank you," Emma said, looking in Regina's eyes. "Thank you for not giving up on me and thank you for...saving me."

Regina ran her fingers through Emma's hair and leaned in. "You are the most welcome," She breathed against Emma's lips before pressing her full lips against soft ones. Emma gasped but returned the gentle kiss, hesitantly stroking Regina's lips with her own before growing bolder. She licked the brunette's lips and slipped her tongue in Regina's warm mouth. Regina wrapped her arms around Emma's back, and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss even further. Emma felt like she was drunk, but her alcohol came in the form of a slender, wonderful, gorgeous woman. Her head spun when she tasted the brunette and she flung her arms around the older woman's neck, panting. Regina slowly turned down the heat of the kiss, and then broke away and rested her forehead against Emma's. Emerald eyes bore into chocolate ones, and their affections for each other shone clearly. Snow fell gently down all around them, and the two women were so lost in each other, they didn't notice the green man watching them from a distance.

"How could this have happened?" Rumplestiltskin tapped his chin as he watched the two women kiss again. "She should have drunken the potion," he muttered under his breath. "No matter! Regina will be mine one way or another," he watched Emma and Regina with a glowing hate in his eyes. "You've made a very big mistake Princess Emma," he giggled, then turned on the spot and was gone.


End file.
